The Armchair Politician

I’ve been playing poker online for awhile. Still in the red, but I’m coming back quite nicely as of late. Anyway, I had just about the funniest thing ever happen in a game tonight. Long story short, I bluff early on and get called on it; however, I get lucky as hell and end up winning the hand anyway. Two of the players at the table taunt me for about five or ten minutes, leaning hard on me every pot I’m in. And then I take both of them out, winning about $100 of their money in the process.

So I sit down at this table, and as per my usual style, start betting at pots immediately. Money’s moving pretty loosely at the table, so I try bluffing at a pot pretty early on.

***** Hand History for Game 2934143012 *****
0/0 Texas Hold'em Game Table (NL)  - Thu Mar 16 21:02:01 EST 2006
Table Table  36630 (6 max) (Real Money) -- Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players : 6
Seat 1: schoenb8 ( $18.08)
Seat 2: Zambeani ( $29.95)
Seat 3: Parrotland ( $44.25)
Seat 4: Bricklayer14 ( $82.45)
Seat 5: baldeR444 ( $14.80)
Seat 6: stouset ( $36.50)
schoenb8  posts small blind (0.25)
Parrotland  posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to stouset [ 5c, Qc ]
Bricklayer14 calls (0.50)
baldeR444 folds.
stouset raises (3) to 3
schoenb8 calls (2.75)
Parrotland folds.
Bricklayer14 calls (2.50)
** Dealing Flop ** :  [ 3c, 3s, 2s ]
schoenb8 checks.
Bricklayer14 bets (5)
stouset raises (15) to 15
schoenb8 folds.
Bricklayer14 calls (10)
** Dealing Turn ** :  [ Kh ]
Bricklayer14 bets (10)
stouset raises (18.50) to 18.50
stouset is all-In.
Bricklayer14 calls (8.50)
** Dealing River ** :  [ 5s ]
Creating Main Pot with $74.50 with stouset
** Summary **
Main Pot: $74.50 |  | Rake: $2
Board: [ 3c 3s 2s Kh 5s  ]
schoenb8 balance $15.08, lost $3 (folded)
Zambeani balance $29.95, sits out
Parrotland balance $43.75, lost $0.50 (folded)
Bricklayer14 balance $45.95, lost $36.50 [ 4h 4d ] [ two pairs, fours and
threes -- Kh,4h,4d,3c,3s ]
baldeR444 balance $14.80, didn't bet (folded)
stouset balance $74.50, bet $36.50, collected $74.50, net +$38 [ 5c Qc ] [ two
pairs, fives and threes -- Kh,5c,5s,3c,3s ]

Immediately after this, two of the players start trying to taunt me, calling me a “fish” (someone who calls large bets with a mediocre hand or a draw hoping to get lucky and improve their hand, against the odds) and leaning hard on me whenever I’m in a pot. Every bet I make, they reraise. I let them do this for a little, since it’s not worth risking my stack over relatively small pots. But I’m merely biding my time making them believe they can push me around and knock me out of pots when I have a hand.

schoenb8: nice catch fish
Bricklayer14: that was a great play, just don't lose my money before i take it
back fuc k head
schoenb8: stouset thinks he is playing GO FISH
schoenb8: here fishy fishy fishy
schoenb8: GO FISH
Bricklayer14: $50 more and u can leave as sfuc k
Bricklayer14: only nut u had is on your chin

Finally, I get a hand. AKc, which is one of the best four hands in the game. I lead out with a bet, and one of the griefers follows me in. The flop is AA5, giving me a hand that only two possible hands can beat me with; odds are strongly in my favor. I eventually goad him into going all in, and summarily take his money.

***** Hand History for Game 2934146639 *****
0/0 Texas Hold'em Game Table (NL)  - Thu Mar 16 21:15:40 EST 2006
Table Table  36630 (6 max) (Real Money) -- Seat 5 is the button
Total number of players : 6
Seat 1: schoenb8 ( $21.78)
Seat 2: Zambeani ( $29.95)
Seat 3: Parrotland ( $42.40)
Seat 4: Bricklayer14 ( $47.75)
Seat 5: PotMan5 ( $64.10)
Seat 6: stouset ( $58.05)
stouset  posts small blind (0.25)
schoenb8  posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to stouset [ Ac, Kc ]
Parrotland folds.
Bricklayer14 calls (0.50)
PotMan5 calls (0.50)
stouset raises (1.75) to 2
schoenb8 folds.
Bricklayer14 calls (1.50)
PotMan5 folds.
** Dealing Flop ** :  [ 5s, Ad, Ah ]
stouset checks.
Bricklayer14 bets (2)
stouset calls (2)
** Dealing Turn ** :  [ 8s ]
stouset bets (3)
Bricklayer14 raises (10) to 10
stouset raises (22) to 25
Bricklayer14 raises (33.75) to 43.75
Bricklayer14 is all-In.
stouset calls (18.75)
** Dealing River ** :  [ Ts ]
Creating Main Pot with $94.50 with Bricklayer14
** Summary **
Main Pot: $94.50 |  | Rake: $2
Board: [ 5s Ad Ah 8s Ts  ]
schoenb8 balance $21.28, lost $0.50 (folded)
Zambeani balance $29.95, sits out
Parrotland balance $42.40, didn't bet (folded)
Bricklayer14 balance $0, lost $47.75 [ 8h 9s ] [ two pairs, aces and eights --
Ad,Ah,Ts,8h,8s ]
PotMan5 balance $63.60, lost $0.50 (folded)
stouset balance $104.80, bet $47.75, collected $94.50, net +$46.75 [ Ac Kc ] [
three of a kind, aces -- Ac,Ad,Ah,Kc,Ts ]

A few hands later, the other one bets. My favorite thing in the world to do is call a large preflop bet on rags (low, weak cards). The reason I’ll do this sometimes, is because if the flop comes out with no high cards (especially giving me a pair), I know they didn’t hit anything. Since they’re extremely likely to have two high cards, if there are only low cards on the flop, reasoning says that they didn’t improve their hand. Plus, when you take out someone with a really good hand when you have crappy cards, it has the wonderful effect of enraging them, making them far easier to take money from.

Now, most people have read Super/System (essentially, the Bible of poker), and what Doyle Brunson (essentially, the God of poker) encourages you to do in it is to lead out with a bet if you bet preflop, even if you missed. Because, your opponent thinks you have a good hand already, and odds are they didn’t improve their hand either. So, to me anyway, it’s usually pretty clear when someone missed their flop and is betting just trying to take down the pot right then and there. Of course, if the flop has a high card or two, you can dump your trash hand without having lost too much.

Back to my story: the other remaining guy who’s been taunting me is left, and he bets preflop. I have rags, and call him. A ragged flop comes out, but I hit two pair. I put him all in, and win.

***** Hand History for Game 2934147340 *****
0/0 Texas Hold'em Game Table (NL)  - Thu Mar 16 21:18:18 EST 2006
Table Table  36630 (6 max) (Real Money) -- Seat 5 is the button
Total number of players : 4
Seat 1: schoenb8 ( $24.98)
Seat 3: Parrotland ( $41.40)
Seat 5: PotMan5 ( $57.85)
Seat 6: stouset ( $107.15)
stouset  posts small blind (0.25)
schoenb8  posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to stouset [ 4s, 8s ]
Parrotland folds.
PotMan5 folds.
stouset calls (0.25)
schoenb8 raises (1.50) to 2
stouset calls (1.50)
** Dealing Flop ** :  [ 2s, 8h, 4d ]
stouset checks.
schoenb8 bets (5)
stouset raises (10) to 10
schoenb8 calls (5)
** Dealing Turn ** :  [ 7c ]
stouset bets (15)
schoenb8 calls (12.98)
schoenb8 is all-In.
** Dealing River ** :  [ 6h ]
Creating Main Pot with $47.96 with schoenb8
** Summary **
Main Pot: $47.96 | Side Pot 1: $2.02 | Rake: $2
Board: [ 2s 8h 4d 7c 6h  ]
schoenb8 balance $0, lost $24.98 [ Th 7h ] [ a pair of sevens -- Th,8h,7h,7c,6h ]
jnudes1 balance $25, sits out
Parrotland balance $41.40, didn't bet (folded)
PotMan5 balance $57.85, didn't bet (folded)
stouset balance $130.13, bet $27, collected $49.98, net +$22.98 [ 4s 8s ] [
two pairs, eights and fours -- 8s,8h,7c,4s,4d ]

I take him for all of his money. Both of them donated about $100 total to my cause, and I had an absolute blast taking their money from them. Knowing how pissed they were at much initial lucky catch (they were griefing on me for at least fifteen minutes), I’m pretty sure they both went off and hung themselves after losing their entire stacks to me.

Glorious, glorious day.