The Armchair Politician

I think the title of this says it all. Read below for a chat transcript or two.

(22:21:24) Internet Person: hey i got a couple words for you, shut the fuck up, you dont even know jordan
(22:21:46) Stephen Touset: …que?
(22:21:56) Internet Person: dont play stupid
(22:22:11) Stephen Touset: Er, I wish I was playing.
(22:22:26) Stephen Touset: I seem to recall the fact that any time I talk to her, you start yelling at me. It’s making me quite curious.
(22:23:12) Internet Person: maybe you shouldnt be a blaitent moron and i wouldnt have to
(22:23:58) Stephen Touset: Yet, I’m the only one who seems to be making sense here.
(22:23:59) Stephen Touset: Go figure.
(22:24:36) Stephen Touset: So do you get off to trash talking over the internet?
(22:24:46) Stephen Touset: ’cause it really seems like you spend a lot of time doing it.
(22:24:51) Stephen Touset: Just curious.
(22:25:05) Internet Person: why dont we meet in person and ill kick your ass for real
(22:25:29) Stephen Touset: Man, you just keep going at it.
(22:25:51) Stephen Touset: Got a little extra testosterone you need to shake off there?
(22:26:32) Internet Person: you egotistical moron, you dont even know what youve done do you?
(22:26:44) Internet Person: aside from question jordans values
(22:28:24) Stephen Touset: Er, no, I don’t seem to know what I’ve done.
(22:28:39) Stephen Touset: Which, erm, is precisely why I was asking you earlier. Remember, when I said “…que”?
(22:28:46) Stephen Touset: That was me asking!
(22:30:02) Internet Person: wow youre stupid, you seem to have no recollection of insaulting a fine young lady’s vaules
(22:30:11) Internet Person: you did it 5 min aog dumb fuck
(22:30:25) Stephen Touset: I see.
(22:30:37) Stephen Touset: Except, I seem to recall joking in a very obvious manner.
(22:30:43) Stephen Touset: About making $40 million in the porn industry.
(22:30:50) Stephen Touset: Which, as far as I know, really just doesn’t happen.
(22:31:18) Internet Person: wow youre an idiot
(22:31:46) Internet Person: why dont you come down for a nightmares show, im sure youll get a warm welcome
(22:31:50) Stephen Touset: I know, I know. $40 million? What was I thinking?
(22:32:39) Internet Person: tell me
(22:32:58) Internet Person: would you like mustard on your knuckle sandwhich?
(22:33:09) Internet Person: with a side of your teeth
(22:33:14) Internet Person: and your ass handed to you
(22:33:39) Stephen Touset: Wow, that’s so original!
(22:33:43) Stephen Touset: I mean, I’ve never heard that one before.
(22:33:48) Stephen Touset: Let me ask, do you make your own material?
(22:33:51) Stephen Touset: Because that, is like, gold.
(22:33:58) Stephen Touset: I’m talking comedy gold right there.
(22:34:18) Stephen Touset: A knuckle sandwich! I swear I’ve never heard that before, and it just makes so much sense, too!
(22:34:31) Internet Person: wow youre funny, do you rip off familyguy every 5 min you stupid, ignorant, arrogant, imbisile
(22:34:42) Stephen Touset: Hahaha, at least you’re clever enough to catch the reference.
(22:35:09) Internet Person: im serious tho, if i ever find you youre dead
(22:35:26) Stephen Touset: (22:32:27) [Quoting Jordan, Whos Honor he is Evidently Trying to Protect]: starting violence is pointless, you lose face and self worth
(22:36:49) Internet Person: ive already lost face
(22:36:54) Internet Person: i dont care
(22:37:08) Internet Person: as for slef worth, ha
(22:38:06) Stephen Touset: Yeah, you seem to be really lacking there. Gotta beat up on internet folk to make yourself feel like a true man!
(22:38:42) Stephen Touset: Let me tell you, I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so fearful of my life. Except for maybe that one time when I was at the zoo. Or in the mall. Or, well, actually, I think a lot of things would probably trump this.
(22:38:45) Stephen Touset: But you’re up there, I promise.
(22:40:29) Internet Person: you dont get it do you
(22:40:34) Stephen Touset: I really don’t.
(22:40:58) Stephen Touset: I wish I did, but you really just seem to me like a dog barking at the top of his lungs, while I stand two feet outside of the range of your leash, confused as hell.
(22:41:37) Internet Person: buddy. nothing can hold me back, you see, you fuck with her, you fuck with me
(22:42:36) Stephen Touset: Hey, listen, I’m sorry I made fun of you.
(22:42:45) Stephen Touset: You’re absolutely right, I’m a bastard.
(22:42:57) Stephen Touset: How could I have done such a stupid thing?
(22:43:01) Stephen Touset: Can you ever forgive me?
(22:43:12) Internet Person: cut the crap retard
(22:43:18) Stephen Touset: I’m serious!
(22:43:27) Stephen Touset: I’m like, SO repentant.
(22:43:32) Stephen Touset: Does that get me quality points?